A Better Way

Life is too short to live with ongoing resentment. Nowhere do we see more clearly the brokenness of our world than when we take stock of the ways in which we have been wronged or the ways in which we have wronged others. I have had people tell me that they can’t even look at or share space with the person that lives among us with the obstruction of offense between us. Emotions flare up when offending parties come together because as they approach one another, they are not really getting closer to each other. They are getting closer the offense that is between them. They both begin to relive the anger, the guilt, the pain, the shame…the wounds begin to throb. Once again we notice the wound. Once again we feel the destructive power of a broken relationship. 

What choices do we have when we face the reality of these broken relationships? Retribution is one of our go to tools. We imagine that justice is the highest ideal – an eye for an eye; that’s what the bible says. We believe that retribution makes sense. So, we punish. Then we wonder why the taste of bitterness lingers with us.  If an eye for an eye were the solution, wouldn’t I feel more whole; wouldn’t I feel more healed? Ignoring the offense, sweeping it under the rug, is popular. But is this solution real? Aren’t we settling for a life with acceptable chasms between us and those with whom we share broken relationship? How many “acceptable chasms” will we choose before we are on an island of our own making? How about taking the high road? Many times we choose to chalk the offense up to life – “oh well, he owes me one (or I owe her one).” But what happens when my accounting fails to match the accounting of others in my life? This is about to be an offense upon an offense. It is pretty clear. We have gone to great lengths to navigate the brokenness in our relationships and we have found many tactics that do nothing to lessen the brokenness in any way.

So let us state the obvious. There is a better way. It’s not the easier way. It’s not the cheaper way. It’s not even the way that we came up with on our own. This is the way that we hold up as God’s good news for the world that God loves. This is the way that we stand upon as a foundation stone of our faith. It is forgiveness. We believe that the Kin_dom of God is the future, that the Kin_dom of God is upon us, and that the Kin_dom of God is a place of shalom – wholeness, thriving, peace, & joyful life eternal. And according to Archbishop Desmond Tutu, “There is no future without forgiveness.”

So, if all this is true, then why is forgiveness not a more prolific product of the lives those of us that call ourselves followers of Christ?  During Lent we will explore the process of forgiveness. We will learn from Marjorie Thompson, the experiences of religious leaders and communities in our history, and the wisdom and truth in scripture. 

 

We have many questions about the path of forgiveness. Here are some of the questions and answers we will sample on our quest together this Lenten Season. Do you really know why forgiveness  is needed? “If we are spiritually united by virtue of our creation, however, we are sorrowfully united as well in our fall from the grace of such unity.” Have you wondered what qualifies someone for forgiveness? “So much of what we see, do, and say is rooted in unconscious wounds and unmet needs.” Have you wondered how you will know when someone deserves forgiveness? “God’s forgiveness offers us a way to move forward: to challenge the assumed supremacy of our small ego-kingdoms; to discover our common humanity with others of all backgrounds; to wake up to our deeper identity in Christ.” Have you wondered how we get passed the emotional barriers that get in the way of forgiveness? Our souls “are interconnected in God, as though the many wicks of our lamps draw their oil from the same full cruse in which they are all immersed.” (Douglas Steere) I’ll bet some of us even wonder where forgiveness comes from. “Forgiveness is the healing stream flowing out from the life of Christ over a world that does not know how desperately it needs healing”

 

I look forward to this pilgrimage in the wilderness of forgiveness. We will find wonder and mystery, healing and hope, even new life on the path. I hope I am not under promising too much.

Enjoy God,

pg

Connection Matters

Yes, God is with us! The celebration of Christmas declares truth, power, and life changing relationship. The waiting period is over and here we are. “The Kin_dom of God is upon you”. These realities are not impotent, neutral declarations that line the walls of our busy lives. These realities are daring, uncomfortable invitations to go deeper in our relationship with God. To do this, we need to notice the power that is God with us. Furthermore, we need to stop gawking in paralyzed amazement at this power and find a connection point. In this faithful endeavor we find the truth – connection matters.

Last week our congregation was invited into many paths of engagement. These are spiritual practices. I want to define a spiritual practice as that which requires intent, focuses our attention on the power that is Holy/wholly not our own, and stretches us to a new way of being open to that life changing power – God. In other words, spiritual practice is connection. I’m certain that you can apprehend that amazing power as a spectacle to see is one thing, and amazing power that one is connected to is another thing all together.

You were given some tools.  These are very practical and useful; perfect for the journey that we are going to travel together. We have a clear path to goal setting, a system to sustain our effort – we partner with one another for encouragement, prayer, and accountability. We have been given testimonies about how this system has been effective for others in our community. Finally, we have been invited to take our own place at the table in this banquet of spiritual practice. I hope the invitation to connection that was made on January 4^th is still challenging you to do something new this year; something that stretches you and makes a connection. (We will keep these Goal setting cards available in the office and the sanctuary throughout this sermon series.)

I realize that it is possible for us to see this invitation as off-putting. After all, we demonstrated spiritual practice as the very thing we commit to in our baptismal vows – prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness. We demonstrated ideal examples of these spiritual practices – 10% tithing, 20 hours of service in a month, 30 minutes of study and devotion every day, 40 Sundays in worship, 50 captured opportunities to share our faith with someone new. Anyone of these ideals can feel daunting. I have not yet met the person that would not feel stretched by this list of potential practices. And worse, we asked for people to make a commitment and turn them in on the spot.  It was a challenging day in church and there are many feelings we get from being challenged; energized, overwhelmed, excited, dreading failure, empowered , & suspicious, just to name a few.

There is nothing wrong with any of these feelings. We are who we are and our feelings will be our own natural response to the challenge that is in front of us. Own them, work with them, talk to someone about them, and use them to find your path to making a connection with this amazing power. God uses all things for good in the lives of the faithful. All things.

I also realize that building trust is important in a challenge. To that end, I want you to know that the subject of you, your goals, and your dedication to spiritual practice is never a topic of conversation about you. I will never be asking leadership to account for the spiritual practice lives of the congregation. I will never ask your accountability partner for an update on your performance. I will never ask you for a report on someone else. I am open to talking about spiritual practices of course (this would be thrilling to me): but these conversations will always be in the first person – me talking to you about your spiritual practice journey, because you want to talk about it.

 

So why turn in cards and why ask for a partner to whom you would share your spiritual practice story? These are opportunities for each one of us to experience love and support from our church community. This is also a way for you to serve as a loving partner for someone else in your church family. In other words, this is a way to make connections.  Connections matter.

 As we continue through the next six weeks, I will be talking about the amazing power revealed in God with us. We are offering more than an intellectual examination of this power. We are offering connection, and we know for sure that people who take the time to make this connection will never be the same.  I myself am not really here to understand the power of God (I am not even sure this is possible). I am eager to experience the power of God. Isn’t a God who is willing to become flesh and dwell among us making this invitation plain? God has obviously sought us out so that we might experience the life changing power of God’s divine love.  I submit that this is because God believes connection matters. What are we going to do with this invitation?

Forgiveness With Power

Have you seen the image of God this week? Does God’s image come through in this week’s reaction to terror? Does an image of God come to mind when the news chants responses to the abuse of Janay Rice. When the president is pushed to “ask for permission,” when the U.S. Attorney starts a civil rights investigation in Fergusson, Missouri, when the NFL commissioner denies he had access to the evidence; these are the images we are seeing every day – people casting an image, people hoping you’ll see the image they cast. The image of God is not like this.

The image of God is organic, beautiful, generous, and healing. It lies in contrast to many of the images that I mentioned above. The image of God is part of our creation and not something we create. A good acid test for God’s image is to ask yourself, was this image created to make someone look good? , was this image co-opted to shift the balance of power in a self-serving way?

This week I faced irony when I read the scripture that comes out of the common revised lectionary for worship. It was the story in Matthew 18:21-35 that tells of the servant that fails to forgive. This scripture boldly declares that God is generous. The master in the story hears his servant plead for mercy and instead of holding the servant accountable for a debt that would be equal to 100 years wages, the master forgives the debt. When the servant fails to be forgiving in a similar situation, the servant is smote as an object lesson. The words linger of the reader of the story, “the same will happen to you unless you forgive with all your hearts.” When is forgiveness an expression of God’s image in me? When is forgiveness just another tool in the hands of my oppressor.

I think about Janay Rice, the woman beaten unconscious by her abusive fiancé from NFL fame, when I wonder about forgiveness being an image of God that can be co-opted, degraded, distorted, and used to shelter the abuser rather than heal the abused.  Can’t you just hear an abuser using the bible and the image of God as a powerful lever for control? “You have to forgive me; God will punish you if you don’t.” “You can’t be a good ‘christian’ if you don’t forgive me.” Can forgiveness really be this absolute?

The point is even better made when you start to read the comments started in social media, by Beverly Gooden @bevtgooden

Follow (this is a link for twitter users to follow the story) Beverly called . #WhyIStayed. Beverly is changing the conversation. As a survivor of abuse, she wants us to see the issue from the perspective of the victim. Don’t we all start our wonder with a question like, “why doesn’t she just leave?” This is one of the reasons that Beverly stayed in her abusive relationship, “I stayed because my pastor told me that God hates divorce. It didn't cross my mind that God might hate abuse, too” with shivers in my spine, I wonder if my role as pastor shelters the abusers in our society and causes the victims of domestic violence to spend added time under the heel of their persecutors. Shaking my head, I wonder if the scripture is actually demanding forgiveness from people that are fighting each day for survival.

The blessing is that I grew some more compassion and awareness about domestic violence this week. "It is never as simple as walking out of the door," said Gooden. "There are so many layers to domestic violence. And not just financial, although those are valid. But we are talking about human hearts. It's not easy to leave someone you love. It's not easy to leave when you have no resources and nowhere to go. It's not easy to leave when you are threatened with additional violence. It's not easy to leave when you remember how it used to be, or when they romance you during the good times, or when they promise it is the last time. Or when there are children involved. Because you believe in love and you believe in them." Domestic violence isn't a rare phenomenon in America. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year, and 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It wouldn’t hurt to lift up that domestic violence happens to men, children, and the elderly as well

 

 Furthermore, it is not just a matter of leaving being hard, leaving is also very dangerous. Dr. Phil provides resources for staying safe called “the Stay Safe Action Plan,” The most violent time in an abusive relationship is the minute the woman leaves, or tries to leave. In fact, in domestic violence cases, more than 70 percent of injuries and murders happen after the victim leaves. This phenomenon is known as separation assault. After following the Exit Action Plan for how to leave an abusive relationship safely, know the plan for staying safe!”

If you are a victim of domestic violence or know someone who is, the worst things that we can do are point to the lectionary and demand an attitude of forgiveness. If you are an abuser, you do not have the right to use God’s image and/or the power of scripture to shelter your behavior and bolster your power and control. As we say on the streets, “don’t get it twisted.”

In order to be clear, let’s revisit the scripture.  Jesus was describing God with all of the power, with infinite resources, with an undeniable upper hand, using God’s place and power to be open handed. God was demonstrating spiritual philanthropy – a generosity that is overwhelming, unearned, undeserved, and delivered from a place of power. The failure of the servant was that when the servant was in a place of power the servant refused to be open handed and be a source of mercy. The image of God is evident when we are aware of our place in power and when mercy flows from the powerful toward the powerless. The image of God is not just forgiveness, it is forgiveness with power. Do you see how that is organic, beautiful, generous, and healing? Forgiveness in light of power is the calling, and forgiveness in the light of power gives hope to the hopeless. Even the abused are given the right to get safe, get out, and get right.

Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. Walter Wink, in the book Engaging the Powers, teaches us that Jesus knew that a soldier would slap an inferior with the back of his right hand. If the victim brazenly ‘turned the other cheek.’ the soldier would have to strike with the open hand. An open handed strike was only done to someone that you believed was your equal – power shifts. Jesus taught us that if we are asked to walk a mile carrying the oppressor’s burdens, we should walk the extra mile. Wink teaches that a roman soldier had the right to conscribe any commoner to carry his burden for one mile and no more. If the victim were to ‘walk the extra mile,’ the soldier was at risk of punishment for breaking the rules – power shifts.

Forgiveness is sacred. Scripture is a blessing in our lives. The image of God is a beautiful gift of our creation. We do not have the right to twist these into tools for abuse over victims.

Enjoy God,

pg

Gathering to Grow

It is probably not difficult for people to see the church as a gathering. We gather at pot lucks, we gather for worship, we gather at funerals, and in our case even at estate sales. At any one of these gatherings an outsider could easily recognize what’s happening – “that’s the church, and they are gathering.” What becomes difficult is imagining what would make that same outsider change the tune – “that’s the church gathering, and I need to find a way to get connected.” I believe that if there is anything “universal” (catholic) about the body of Christ, it is the common desires to have people see the church as a gathering that they would like to join. To that end, I believe that we need to have purpose to our gatherings that is both compelling and meaningful.

Sometimes the purpose of gathering is unstated; and when that is the case, we become subject to passive declarations of purpose that could even contradict our own beliefs. People who don’t belong to faith communities often have a reason; probably a good one. Do these sound familiar?  A church convinced me that I was unworthy. A church wanted me to believe that joining is the only way to avoid eternal damnation. A church demanded that their understanding of God’s rules was absolute and obedience was going to be a measuring stick for my faithfulness. A church wanted me to deny my scientific understanding of nature. A church told me that women should submit to their husbands. A church told me that I was an abomination. If these things weren’t said or done to me directly, maybe I know someone that says one of these was their experience. In any case, we need to admit that these brushes have been used to paint a picture of the church in America. When our purpose for gathering is left to the imagination, this is what people are likely to imagine. Do we really want to leave our purpose to the imagination; can we afford to?

What if this communication were taking place out loud? The church would gather. Then the onlookers would vocalize their feelings, exposing the injuries and cynicisms that we all know exist. And the closest member could claim with confidence, “no, that is not who we are. Many of us have felt the same way in the past. This community stands out. We are a gathering of church, and our purpose for gathering adds depth and meaning to our lives, richness to our relationships, and strengthens the community at large. Here is how…” Wouldn’t that be nice? My uncle Clarence used to say, “If its and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.” The fact is, for us, implied communication is guaranteed to be miscommunication. Our purposes need to be declared out loud and publically or they will certainly be either missed or replaced.

This week I will share our first purpose, the one that adds depth and meaning to our lives and richness to our relationships. Here it is. We gather together to grow as disciples of Christ. I used bold letters and immediately realized that making the letters bold does nothing for making the statement clear; so, I want to spend a little time unpacking this purpose.

Our society does not have a consistent image of what a disciple of Christ is and maybe some of us could use “precision of language” (to follow the rules in the popular movie “The Giver”).  I see disciples as the people that Jesus picked, and at the same time Jesus does not use his picking to underline exclusivity. Jesus picks illiterate fisherman like Peter, scholars like Judas, religious traitors like Matthew the tax collector as well as zealots. Jesus picks women of wealth like Joanna and women who were cast out like Mary from Magdala. If anything, I think that the picking that Jesus demonstrates is a sign that all walks of life are picked and are invited to discipleship.

After opening the door, Jesus helps us see what discipleship could mean for us. Disciples intentionally spent time with Jesus and it made a difference.  Disciples didn’t always know how to understand Jesus messages or even find it easy to grasp the big picture(parables); but they were given to moments of clarity(who do YOU say that I am?). They were able to see God do amazing things in a world that suffered (healing, feeding, and resurrecting). They felt close to the messiah (feet washed). They began to trust that God was going to have a huge impact in the world. They were given the gift of being used as a tool of God’s power in real living communities (sending of the 70). To me, this all spells out relationship.

Can you see it? The relationship that a “disciple” had with Jesus added depth and meaning to their lives, and richness to their relationships. Discipleship did not create perfect behavior or absolute clarity. It did create closeness where people felt free to ask questions and would often receive special instruction. It did create a community of disciples that felt like they would gain strength by being together – that felt camaraderie.

Gathering to grow as disciples of Christ can be one of our explicit purposes. Maybe you think it already is. Have you moved toward this purpose lately? I will be forming groups that intentionally travel toward this purpose together. We will be gathering and openly declaring a heart of humility – not considering whether our gathering is “worth it” (because we are getting something good), but embracing how our gathering is “worth it” (because we are learning about the good we have to give). Our Gatherings will take us on paths of discovery – discovering our church, discovering our gifts, discovering our membership vows, discovering faith formation, discovering the bible, and discovering leadership. When we gather we will have engaging discussion. We will have moments of excitement when our group lurches forward in relationship with Jesus.

Gathering to grow is not restricted to the paths or even the gathering groups. As long time disciples many of us realize that getting to discipleship is only a beginning; growing in discipleship is a lifelong journey. We are committed to creating a mentoring network as well. You know people that have tremendous gifts – visiting the sick, deep spiritual practice, organization, leadership, social action, volunteerism, playfulness, adventure, musical gifts, artistic, etc.. I know that there is someone in this church that amazes you. What if you could gather a few times a year and shop for a mentor and become a mentor? Wouldn’t it be great to have a practice of making a spiritual friend that shares their gifts with you? When we pick a spiritual friend and when we are picked as a spiritual friend, the potential for growth is amazing. Growth is not limited to the new. Growth is for all of us.

We are the gathering ……. our purpose makes gathering all the more important

Enjoy God,

pg