Forgiveness With Power

Have you seen the image of God this week? Does God’s image come through in this week’s reaction to terror? Does an image of God come to mind when the news chants responses to the abuse of Janay Rice. When the president is pushed to “ask for permission,” when the U.S. Attorney starts a civil rights investigation in Fergusson, Missouri, when the NFL commissioner denies he had access to the evidence; these are the images we are seeing every day – people casting an image, people hoping you’ll see the image they cast. The image of God is not like this.

The image of God is organic, beautiful, generous, and healing. It lies in contrast to many of the images that I mentioned above. The image of God is part of our creation and not something we create. A good acid test for God’s image is to ask yourself, was this image created to make someone look good? , was this image co-opted to shift the balance of power in a self-serving way?

This week I faced irony when I read the scripture that comes out of the common revised lectionary for worship. It was the story in Matthew 18:21-35 that tells of the servant that fails to forgive. This scripture boldly declares that God is generous. The master in the story hears his servant plead for mercy and instead of holding the servant accountable for a debt that would be equal to 100 years wages, the master forgives the debt. When the servant fails to be forgiving in a similar situation, the servant is smote as an object lesson. The words linger of the reader of the story, “the same will happen to you unless you forgive with all your hearts.” When is forgiveness an expression of God’s image in me? When is forgiveness just another tool in the hands of my oppressor.

I think about Janay Rice, the woman beaten unconscious by her abusive fiancé from NFL fame, when I wonder about forgiveness being an image of God that can be co-opted, degraded, distorted, and used to shelter the abuser rather than heal the abused.  Can’t you just hear an abuser using the bible and the image of God as a powerful lever for control? “You have to forgive me; God will punish you if you don’t.” “You can’t be a good ‘christian’ if you don’t forgive me.” Can forgiveness really be this absolute?

The point is even better made when you start to read the comments started in social media, by Beverly Gooden @bevtgooden

Follow (this is a link for twitter users to follow the story) Beverly called . #WhyIStayed. Beverly is changing the conversation. As a survivor of abuse, she wants us to see the issue from the perspective of the victim. Don’t we all start our wonder with a question like, “why doesn’t she just leave?” This is one of the reasons that Beverly stayed in her abusive relationship, “I stayed because my pastor told me that God hates divorce. It didn't cross my mind that God might hate abuse, too” with shivers in my spine, I wonder if my role as pastor shelters the abusers in our society and causes the victims of domestic violence to spend added time under the heel of their persecutors. Shaking my head, I wonder if the scripture is actually demanding forgiveness from people that are fighting each day for survival.

The blessing is that I grew some more compassion and awareness about domestic violence this week. "It is never as simple as walking out of the door," said Gooden. "There are so many layers to domestic violence. And not just financial, although those are valid. But we are talking about human hearts. It's not easy to leave someone you love. It's not easy to leave when you have no resources and nowhere to go. It's not easy to leave when you are threatened with additional violence. It's not easy to leave when you remember how it used to be, or when they romance you during the good times, or when they promise it is the last time. Or when there are children involved. Because you believe in love and you believe in them." Domestic violence isn't a rare phenomenon in America. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year, and 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It wouldn’t hurt to lift up that domestic violence happens to men, children, and the elderly as well

 

 Furthermore, it is not just a matter of leaving being hard, leaving is also very dangerous. Dr. Phil provides resources for staying safe called “the Stay Safe Action Plan,” The most violent time in an abusive relationship is the minute the woman leaves, or tries to leave. In fact, in domestic violence cases, more than 70 percent of injuries and murders happen after the victim leaves. This phenomenon is known as separation assault. After following the Exit Action Plan for how to leave an abusive relationship safely, know the plan for staying safe!”

If you are a victim of domestic violence or know someone who is, the worst things that we can do are point to the lectionary and demand an attitude of forgiveness. If you are an abuser, you do not have the right to use God’s image and/or the power of scripture to shelter your behavior and bolster your power and control. As we say on the streets, “don’t get it twisted.”

In order to be clear, let’s revisit the scripture.  Jesus was describing God with all of the power, with infinite resources, with an undeniable upper hand, using God’s place and power to be open handed. God was demonstrating spiritual philanthropy – a generosity that is overwhelming, unearned, undeserved, and delivered from a place of power. The failure of the servant was that when the servant was in a place of power the servant refused to be open handed and be a source of mercy. The image of God is evident when we are aware of our place in power and when mercy flows from the powerful toward the powerless. The image of God is not just forgiveness, it is forgiveness with power. Do you see how that is organic, beautiful, generous, and healing? Forgiveness in light of power is the calling, and forgiveness in the light of power gives hope to the hopeless. Even the abused are given the right to get safe, get out, and get right.

Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. Walter Wink, in the book Engaging the Powers, teaches us that Jesus knew that a soldier would slap an inferior with the back of his right hand. If the victim brazenly ‘turned the other cheek.’ the soldier would have to strike with the open hand. An open handed strike was only done to someone that you believed was your equal – power shifts. Jesus taught us that if we are asked to walk a mile carrying the oppressor’s burdens, we should walk the extra mile. Wink teaches that a roman soldier had the right to conscribe any commoner to carry his burden for one mile and no more. If the victim were to ‘walk the extra mile,’ the soldier was at risk of punishment for breaking the rules – power shifts.

Forgiveness is sacred. Scripture is a blessing in our lives. The image of God is a beautiful gift of our creation. We do not have the right to twist these into tools for abuse over victims.

Enjoy God,

pg

Gathering to Grow

It is probably not difficult for people to see the church as a gathering. We gather at pot lucks, we gather for worship, we gather at funerals, and in our case even at estate sales. At any one of these gatherings an outsider could easily recognize what’s happening – “that’s the church, and they are gathering.” What becomes difficult is imagining what would make that same outsider change the tune – “that’s the church gathering, and I need to find a way to get connected.” I believe that if there is anything “universal” (catholic) about the body of Christ, it is the common desires to have people see the church as a gathering that they would like to join. To that end, I believe that we need to have purpose to our gatherings that is both compelling and meaningful.

Sometimes the purpose of gathering is unstated; and when that is the case, we become subject to passive declarations of purpose that could even contradict our own beliefs. People who don’t belong to faith communities often have a reason; probably a good one. Do these sound familiar?  A church convinced me that I was unworthy. A church wanted me to believe that joining is the only way to avoid eternal damnation. A church demanded that their understanding of God’s rules was absolute and obedience was going to be a measuring stick for my faithfulness. A church wanted me to deny my scientific understanding of nature. A church told me that women should submit to their husbands. A church told me that I was an abomination. If these things weren’t said or done to me directly, maybe I know someone that says one of these was their experience. In any case, we need to admit that these brushes have been used to paint a picture of the church in America. When our purpose for gathering is left to the imagination, this is what people are likely to imagine. Do we really want to leave our purpose to the imagination; can we afford to?

What if this communication were taking place out loud? The church would gather. Then the onlookers would vocalize their feelings, exposing the injuries and cynicisms that we all know exist. And the closest member could claim with confidence, “no, that is not who we are. Many of us have felt the same way in the past. This community stands out. We are a gathering of church, and our purpose for gathering adds depth and meaning to our lives, richness to our relationships, and strengthens the community at large. Here is how…” Wouldn’t that be nice? My uncle Clarence used to say, “If its and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.” The fact is, for us, implied communication is guaranteed to be miscommunication. Our purposes need to be declared out loud and publically or they will certainly be either missed or replaced.

This week I will share our first purpose, the one that adds depth and meaning to our lives and richness to our relationships. Here it is. We gather together to grow as disciples of Christ. I used bold letters and immediately realized that making the letters bold does nothing for making the statement clear; so, I want to spend a little time unpacking this purpose.

Our society does not have a consistent image of what a disciple of Christ is and maybe some of us could use “precision of language” (to follow the rules in the popular movie “The Giver”).  I see disciples as the people that Jesus picked, and at the same time Jesus does not use his picking to underline exclusivity. Jesus picks illiterate fisherman like Peter, scholars like Judas, religious traitors like Matthew the tax collector as well as zealots. Jesus picks women of wealth like Joanna and women who were cast out like Mary from Magdala. If anything, I think that the picking that Jesus demonstrates is a sign that all walks of life are picked and are invited to discipleship.

After opening the door, Jesus helps us see what discipleship could mean for us. Disciples intentionally spent time with Jesus and it made a difference.  Disciples didn’t always know how to understand Jesus messages or even find it easy to grasp the big picture(parables); but they were given to moments of clarity(who do YOU say that I am?). They were able to see God do amazing things in a world that suffered (healing, feeding, and resurrecting). They felt close to the messiah (feet washed). They began to trust that God was going to have a huge impact in the world. They were given the gift of being used as a tool of God’s power in real living communities (sending of the 70). To me, this all spells out relationship.

Can you see it? The relationship that a “disciple” had with Jesus added depth and meaning to their lives, and richness to their relationships. Discipleship did not create perfect behavior or absolute clarity. It did create closeness where people felt free to ask questions and would often receive special instruction. It did create a community of disciples that felt like they would gain strength by being together – that felt camaraderie.

Gathering to grow as disciples of Christ can be one of our explicit purposes. Maybe you think it already is. Have you moved toward this purpose lately? I will be forming groups that intentionally travel toward this purpose together. We will be gathering and openly declaring a heart of humility – not considering whether our gathering is “worth it” (because we are getting something good), but embracing how our gathering is “worth it” (because we are learning about the good we have to give). Our Gatherings will take us on paths of discovery – discovering our church, discovering our gifts, discovering our membership vows, discovering faith formation, discovering the bible, and discovering leadership. When we gather we will have engaging discussion. We will have moments of excitement when our group lurches forward in relationship with Jesus.

Gathering to grow is not restricted to the paths or even the gathering groups. As long time disciples many of us realize that getting to discipleship is only a beginning; growing in discipleship is a lifelong journey. We are committed to creating a mentoring network as well. You know people that have tremendous gifts – visiting the sick, deep spiritual practice, organization, leadership, social action, volunteerism, playfulness, adventure, musical gifts, artistic, etc.. I know that there is someone in this church that amazes you. What if you could gather a few times a year and shop for a mentor and become a mentor? Wouldn’t it be great to have a practice of making a spiritual friend that shares their gifts with you? When we pick a spiritual friend and when we are picked as a spiritual friend, the potential for growth is amazing. Growth is not limited to the new. Growth is for all of us.

We are the gathering ……. our purpose makes gathering all the more important

Enjoy God,

pg