Hurting Healing Hoping Helping

New Relationships, new faces; sometimes it just feels like we need to do something right? After all, We are a welcoming congregation. A pleasant greeting, a smile, and help finding the coffee and the cookies are great places to start. We all get that. In fact, we do a fantastic job at meeting new people. But what happens next? We know that regularly coming to place where the majority of people have known each other for more than twenty years can feel like popping in on someone else's family reunion. We also know that people don’t need directions to the cookies fifteen weeks in a row. Suddenly we find ourselves at a loss.  We are at the stepping off place where we take a risk and offer relationship at another level.

In most cases, we find ourselves in this emotional stepping off place without ever planning to be there, training to be there, or even ever considering ahead of time how we might act in this space. Many of us have an action instinct – don’t just stand there, do something. Others have a deep spiritual peace about us – don’t just do something, be there. Either way, we are likely to take the next action based on the feelings within us that drive us. If we are the “do something” person, we feel like we haven’t really been welcoming to someone until we have invited them to take part and do something. If we are the “be there” person, we feel like real connection is simply providing space both physically and emotionally for people is all the connection needed. Even though nothing is this simple, people want to be decisive and find a path that feels right. So that is what we do. From some of us, the new face receives the prolonged calm silence that we believe they need. From others, the new face receives the immediate invitation to join a work group and give back to the community. In both scenarios, well-meaning people frequently create awkwardness in an effort to be loving.

Another way to approach the joy of welcoming these new faces to our community could be to start from the hope of acting on the feelings of the newcomer instead of responding to our own feelings. There are multiple reasons that cause people come into a church for the first time. But if I were to label this particular stage in a person life, I would probably label it “Hurting.” We can be hurting because we moved and are grieving the loss of our last church family. We can be hurting because our lives have taken a turn that we were not prepared for like the loss of a family member. We can be hurting because we feel incomplete – like there is a hole that only spirituality can fill. We can be hurting because our children are in crisis and we don’t know how to find peace when everything seems irretrievably out of control. You see, people don’t generally show up accidentally; and at the same time, nobody knows them well enough to address the deeper issues. Both quiet, calm space and action oriented discipleship seem to miss the actual need.

The next step for a person that arrives hurting is healing. We can’t really know what people need for the healing process to begin. Some of them need someone to talk to. Others need to examine the driving forces in their lives. In our efforts to be integrated people we try to live our lives in some relationship to our belief system. Sometimes we need to examine our belief system thoroughly and question whether or not the beliefs that we hold are either vehicles or obstacles to our relationship with God. Some of us need to hold our beliefs accountable just like we hold ourselves accountable to our beliefs. Healing happens when our lives and our relationships make more sense. Only after healing can we move to the next step.

Hoping is an ambitious goal; not to be taken lightly. When someone tells you that they are hopeless do you believe them? Can you imagine life progressing on a path of increasingly less hope? When we are living in this reality, we are certainly hurting. It is only after some healing that we can begin to start hoping again. This is when we can search for promises from God. These promises come in the form of community, scripture, prayer practices, and meaningful worship. It is a beautiful thing to see a new person begin to start hoping. This is the stage when God’s love becomes real to us. We begin to blossom in faith and experience depth in our joy and power in our prayer life. Hoping gives us energy for what is to come.

Helping is a place of gratitude and self-emptying. You can see that these are not really appropriate characteristics to expect from someone that comes off the street hurting. We aren’t really fed by helping unless our healing and hoping muscles are well exercised. We could feel more yoked with tasks, burdened by expectation, and used by getting into helping too early. Yet, when helping is embraced at the right time in our faith journey, we can truly appreciate the grace of God being showered upon us as God uses even us to embrace the world that God loves.

I imagine our church with a team of people intent on the goal of connections. We could have a group of 12-20 people that commit to being trained as a special task force. The task force is called “People Connecting People”. The mission is to find our newcomers (connection makers) and begin to walk the path of hurting, healing, hoping, and helping. The goal is not to simply increase membership but to increase the ability for people to connect with God and community. Our task force would have a training period and then an occasional active service commitment.

Active service happens when we have a group of 4-8 people to connect. We would try to find out when our group of connection makers want to gather. Then we would seek 2 members of our task force to walk with our connection makers. Meetings would be frequent at first during the hurting and healing stages. It will be hard to keep you away from watching and engaging in the hoping stage. The helping stage would only require some regular check in. You can see that this plan will create connections that feed the souls of both the members and the connection makers. You can see that if we plan to engage new faces and new relationships with the intent of meeting the needs of the other, our own needs are met as well. You can see that the active service has a limited window of commitment and only need come up occasionally in your life with the church.

If you see yourself as someone that could be on the “People Connecting People Task Force,” I want to know about it. I am excited to be involved with a church that has a well-developed plan to engage people when the need arises. We definitely have the right people for this work and that person could be you.

 

Enjoy God,

pg

Identity Crisis

Who among you are “called to be Saints”? If you are like most of the people that I have talked with, you are thinking or even saying out loud – not me! You have decided that if you were called to be a saint, you would certainly be more saintly. You know better than anyone the list of character defects that looms as disqualification.  You can’t even imagine that someone would even ask you a question like this. You think to yourself that it is probably obvious to everyone that I am not called to be a saint. And now, you are sufficiently uncomfortable and ready to move on to the next point.

Being called to be saints is called sanctification in the world of religion: and the fact that we see ourselves as an exception to this calling is an “Identity Crisis.” Not that this identity crisis is another shortcoming that you can add to your list; instead, it is a common feeling that many of us share. I was in a meeting with clergy and Lay peers that I really admire. These people are inspiring leaders of faith communities, they have lived through personal traumas that could crush the soul, they have been resurrected in mind , body, and soul time and time again. If you asked me to identify people that were called to be a saint, at least two thirds of these people would immediately pop into my head. Here is the thing, Not one of these people could confidently say, “I am called to be a saint.” What I see here is an identity crisis.

I serve a church that amazes me daily. There are people in this church that have received recognition from the state senate and the state assembly for outstanding service to the community. There are people here that devote themselves to visiting people that are shut in. There are people here that have created a foundation called the Wesley Foundation – it is an intentional community of college students that live together in a Methodist environment. Not only did they create the foundation, they also successfully transitioned leadership to the next generation of leaders. I am surrounded by people who have weathered grief with faith, who have suffered and held onto hope, who have walked the halls of sadness and despair and still found gratitude that feeds their lives. There are people that have created after school programs, community feeding events, and organized estate sales (aiding the grieving in the process of letting go with grace). And yet when I ask this church, “who among you are called to be saints?” the silence will be loud enough to block out the voice of God shouting, “YOU ARE!”

Sanctification is the grace of becoming. Called to be a saint does not mean that you are flawless. It means that you are becoming: becoming a person that knows how to be in relationship with God, becoming a person that knows how to love a neighbor as yourself, becoming a person that finds a way to bring justice into the world, becoming a person that brings healing love and connection to the left out and the left down. You see it right? I want you sit for a moment and think of the people in your life that are becoming in this way. This is not a short list. This is a list of people that are being showered by God’s grace of becoming.

 

I wish you could be in a room with people that you have known throughout your life. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a moment to point to five or six people that you absolutely know are called to be a saint? Wouldn’t it be a joy to tell people how on the journey of becoming they have touched you deeply, they have helped you in your time of sorrow, they have called on you when you were lonely, they have given you a hand when you felt trapped, even imprisoned? Can you just imagine them shaking their heads in protest; “not me, you would’ve done the same thing; I don’t even remember that, I was just in the right place at the right time”? Do you know what you would be experiencing here? You are experiencing the identity crisis.

But you’re not done. The crisis continues. The fact is, if you are in a large enough room, there are people pointing at you. There are people coming over to shake your hand, to tell the story of how your visit at their beside when they were sick was the only moment of hope they had that day. There are people that want you to know that growing up in your afterschool class helped them to trust God. There are people that want you to know that the card you sent, the food you brought, the hug you gave were the beginning of their healing and the fertile soil from which their new lives have sprouted. They are pointing at you. They want you to know that when they think of people becoming, people called to be a saint; they are thinking of you. 

Shake your head all you want and you’ll never shake the truth. It’s an “Identity Crisis” and you are right in the middle of it. God is changing the world. God is using you to do it. You are called to be a saint. When you know your identity you have new eyes with which to see the world alive – alive in the Spirit of God and showered in grace.

Enjoy God,

pg

Ordination - A Covenat Community

Additional Content Pending

In light of recent events, I have spent the day reflecting on the meaning  and value of the ordination that I am on pace to receive in the California Nevada Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church this summer.

The content of my reflections are being reviewed by  my beloved mentors in the process. Unintended and unforeseen consequences are a hazard. I hope to post it soon.

Below is a letter that Our social action team has written that relates to my reflections and the state of ordination in our church. I am proud to be part of a church that encourages boldness in the name of love.

Enjoy God,

pg

Jan. 7, 2013

Rev. Felicisimo Cao, Chairperson

Board of Ordained Ministries

California-Nevada Conference

United Methodist Church

1612 – 9^th Street

Sanger, California 93657

RE: Rev. Frank Schaefer

Dear Rev. Cao,

     We are writing today as a group of concerned United Methodists, members of the Social Action Team of the United Methodist Church of Merced.  Our church voted to become a Reconciling Church 5 years ago and, as a result, we have been profoundly blessed to be in ministry with and to many LGBT members.  So much good will and loving connections have come to us because of our being a part of the Reconciling Ministries Network.   During prayer-time one of our members stood up to thank God for our church family for accepting him the way God made him, a gay man.  Tears were pouring down his face as he recounted being turned away from so many other churches. Now he, and many others, feel at home and accepted in a place where they can worship God honestly.

     So it is with both grief and anger that we learned about the trial and subsequent defrocking of Rev. Frank Schaefer of Lebanon, Pennsylvania for officiating at the marriage of his gay son Tim six years ago.  We are proud that Bishop Carcano of the California-Pacific Conference has stepped up and offered Rev. Schaefer a position in ministry in that conference, but that generous act does not take away the shame we feel towards the United Methodist Church nationally.  When will our Church join the 21^st century in acknowledging that gay and lesbian men and women were born the way they are, created by God that way, and, as such, should be afforded all the rights of heterosexual persons? 

     Our reason in writing you is to encourage you and the Conference Board of Ordained Ministry to support those pastors in the California-Nevada Conference who take a courageous stand against the part of the Discipline which discriminates against LGBT members and those who would offer ministry to them.  We, and many others, will support you in this work.  Let the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be the example for the actions your board may be called to take.

    In the Name of Jesus, We Sign:

    The Social Action Team of the United Methodist Church Merced

    Terry Kruest, Chairperson, Connie Jones, David Hetland, Jennifer Durbin, Jamie Bradley

The Giving

I was reminded by Reed Boyer this morning; we are coming up on Twelfth Night. The customs around the birth of Christ are many and rich. Twelfth Night is the celebration that ends the 12 days of Christmas. It usually occurs on January 5^th or the day of Epiphany (celebrating the gifts of the magi in the gospel). In short, giving & gifts are the essence of twelfth night. You have heard or even sung about the twelve days of Christmas; drummers drumming, ladies dancing, lords a leaping, FIVE GOLDEN RINGS, & even a pear tree aviary. Each day of the season of Christmas is an event of giving. In church we will tell the story of the Magi giving frankincense, gold, and myrrh (not exactly an iPad, but giving just the same). So what? Much of this giving seems random and disconnected. Does giving really matter?  What connection could possibly exist between Jesus and these giving traditions? Have we drifted into a spiritual abyss?

The giving at the manger is a beautiful story that many of us have heard, told, sung, and repeated for countless years. Have you noticed how the giving transforms in the presence of Christ?

Magi from the East are inspired to pay tribute to the king of the Jews being born; seems odd, right? Most scholars believe that these magi came from the area of Babylon – almost 600 miles as the crow flies from Bethlehem. Using trade known routes, some estimate that this caravan could have travelled 1600 miles to perform their giving. No matter what, these men travelled a long way to honor a king that wasn’t their king. It makes sense if you consider that the rumor of power was in the air.

Babylon was the home of many Jews that were dispersed throughout the eastern Mediterranean region. It so happens, nations that would conquer the biblical holy land would take the Jewish people into exile; scattering the culture and community of people in the Jewish faith in many directions. Just like today, over generations cultures are mixed and people of diverse origins influence one another. The anointed one, the Messiah has been long awaited by the Jewish people – prophets from 400 years ago, 700 years ago, & 800 years ago all proclaim the hope of a messiah. So people waited eagerly, expecting a power surge to take the region into a new becoming – a kingdom for the ages.

 

In light of the expected power surge, the giving that the magi had planned makes sense. Weaker kings would pay tribute to the stronger kings in hopes of an alliance that afforded protection. If these magi expected a power surge; then making allies and paying tribute would be a way to get ahead of the curve. In the shadow of power, giving casts a different light.

Herod was certainly influenced by power. Herod ruled the Jewish countryside. He ruled by force and enjoyed the backing of the world’s greatest super power – Rome. He was responsible for both atrocities to humanity and revitalizing ancient Israel’s architecture. Herod would even restore the sacred temple in Jerusalem to its glory. But power is only as good as a person’s grip on it. The inquiry of the magi would suggest that there was a source of power that Herod did not control; a usurper lurks, action must be taken, so the giving begins. Herod gives access to the scholars of Jerusalem. Herod gives safe passage to the magi. One might start to think that Herod is quite a giver.

 

The temple authorities were catching the giving fever. These were the people that studied the scriptures and held onto the customs and traditions of Jewish faith.  They saw Herod as their most immediate and effective source of power. When Herod started the giving, the authorities of Jerusalem would follow suit. They gave their testimonies. They gave their understanding of scripture. In the end, the giving included the ultimate location of the promised messiah.

Christmas is the season of giving; but up to this point, the giving lacks something important. So far, these acts of giving find their source in power and not in God. The giving of God is proclaimed for all the world. It is full of wonder, gratitude, and joy. By contrast, the giving as a response to power happens in the shadows and is full of distrust and fear. The giving of God seems to reject power or at least release power. God was God with the power of life and creation and eternity, but now a helpless babe. God would choose the vulnerability of being a baby because relationship to God’s beloved people was more important than dominance.  God would trust God’s self to the care of poor parents, an unwed mother, a family in refuge to a foreign nation – the left out and the left down. The power of God revised. The self-sufficient power of God makes way for the new reality – relational vulnerability.

 

The giving is extravagant and the giving changes us. After offering themselves to the service of the king, the magi respond as people transformed. First they give of their treasures and then they give of themselves. A familiar road always seems safer than an unknown path. Even if we know there is danger on the familiar road, at least we feel the comfort of being ready for it. The Magi chose to go home by another road. They would choose the daily mystery of an unknown journey. They would become vulnerable and choose to trust God and trust one another on a road that they could take only one day at a time. Mary and Joseph would follow suit. They chose to live in Egypt; a foreign land, a strange tongue, no promise of security. These parents would choose the vulnerable unknown and rely upon God and each other for even the most basic of needs.

 

We often celebrate the season of giving by revisiting stories. I hope each year that I am reminded of the giving; the giving that matters, the giving that changes lives. One of the stories that I like to revisit is the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” George Bailey is arguing with Mr. Potter over the definition of a successful life. Potter wants to hang on to the principle that lending money is about acquiring wealth and property. Potter calls George’s father a failure and a fool for dying penniless. George stands upon the values he learned as a child – a sign hangs in his father’s office that reads, “All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.” George continues the life of giving relationally and it makes all the difference.

The giving builds community, justifies hope, and depends upon trust. When we understand the giving of the season, we experience the richness of life.

Enjoy God,

Pg